I have been super busy lately with all that is going on but
I had a great dads weekend. THERE IS DADS DRUNK OFF THEIR ASSES, UNABLE TO
FUNCTION, FALLING EVERYWHERE (SENTENCE SET OFF BY COMMAS). This became
hilarious because all weekend guys and girls were just as bad as their dads. We
could tell that Pullman went hard and that their is nothing more to do in
Pullman but drink. DADS WENT TO THE FOOTBALL GAME (ROWDY AND DRUNK) LEDING TO
DADS STUMBLING AND BUYING MORE DRINKS (SENTENCE SET OFF BY PARENTHESIS). We could tell that it was going to be a rough
morning for students and their dads. ONE
DAD WOKE UP-EYES GLAZED-UNABLE TO SPEAK (SENTENCE SET OFF BY DASHES). I could tell that he was going to throw up
because of how he was looking. THE DAD PROCEEDED TO GET UP UNRESPONSIVE:
FOLLOWED BY PUKING IN THE TOILET, THEN DRINKS WATER, BUT THEN GOES BACK TO
PUKING (SENTENCE SET OFF BY COLON). Overall I had a great weekend with my dad
even though we did not drink. My dad and I felt like we were the only ones not
drinking but we were ok with that. THE DADS, WERE BRIGHT AND CHEERFUL, BUT NOW
AFTER THE WEEKEND, DADS ARE TIRED AND SICK (SENTENCE SET OFF BY PARTICIPAL
PHRASE). In the end all the students have to get back to school and do
homework. STUDENTS SIMPLY STRUGGLE ON A SUNDAY, FEELING GREAT BEFORE THE
WEEKEND (SENTENCE SET OFF BY ADJECTIVES OUT-OF-ORDER).
This was a funny description of what sounded like a crazy Dad's Weekend. However, I believe your sentence set off by a participial phrase and your sentence with adjectives out of order were incorrect. I actually believe that your participial phrase sentence can be turned into a sentence with adjectives out of order, as you can use bright and cheerful for your adjectives.
ReplyDeletethis was a tough one to respond to, Colin. I appreciate your effort, though.
DeleteSounds like a good Dad's weekend. However, your first four POWS are actually participles and/or adjectives, not appositives. Appositives can be identified by seeing if the appositive and its antecedent are interchangeable, as the appositive will be renaming/identifying a noun. For example,
ReplyDeleteThe fish, a wiggling mass of muscle, was scooped up by the heron.
Fish and wigging mass of muscle can swap positions and still make sense. So your first POW (THERE IS DADS DRUNK OFF THEIR ASSES, UNABLE TO FUNCTION, FALLING EVERYWHERE (SENTENCE SET OFF BY COMMAS), should look more like this,
THERE ARE DADS DRUNK OFF THEIR ASSES, GROWN MEN UNABLE TO FUNCTION, FALLING EVERYWHERE (SENTENCE SET OFF BY COMMAS.
If you apply this reasoning to the rest of the appositive sentences, you should be good to go. Your appositive with a colon doesn’t work because you are trying to list a series of events, but you start the second part with “followed by.”
THE DAD PROCEEDED TO GET UP UNRESPONSIVE: FOLLOWED BY PUKING IN THE TOILET, THEN DRINKS WATER, BUT THEN GOES BACK TO PUKING (SENTENCE SET OFF BY COLON).
Try something more like this…
The Dad became very ill: puking in the toilet, getting water, then puking some more.
Your participial phrase is close, but not quite there, as you would not place a comma before “were”. A participial phrase is going to need a verb in it, but avoid using the “being” verbs.
Try something more like this….
The dads, appearing tired and sick, looked far different from the happy and cheerful dads that arrived on Friday.
Your example where you use parenthesis is actually a perfect example of adjectives out of order.
DADS WENT TO THE FOOTBALL GAME (ROWDY AND DRUNK) LEDING TO DADS STUMBLING AND BUYING MORE DRINKS (SENTENCE SET OFF BY PARENTHESIS).
However, I don’t think the one you have listed works. Try looking at examples of all of these in the packet and I think they will all make more sense.
excellent explanations, Elyssa. I'm so impressed that you took such care and effort with your response.
DeleteSorry, Shane--I don't see any correct POWs. Let's meet and talk.
ReplyDelete